What would you do if....

[Phail]

This game is easy easy, just answer and pose a new "What would you do if" question! Answer the last posting listed.

Here goes.

What would you do if a dog bit you where it hurts?

[DrakonTheNightLord]

I'd bite the dog where it hurts.

What would you do if 40k Forums never existed?

[Baragash]

Triple my productivity at work.

What would you do if Pox sat on your head?

[DrakonTheNightLord]

I'd feel strangely aroused.

What would you do if you found out that pokemon was real?

[Grand Admiral Thrawn]

I'd catch them all!

Would you do if you were stranded on a remote island with your favorite actress?

[DrakonTheNightLord]

You know the answer... Masturbate furiously, cause ain't no way I'm getting any.


What would you do if there were Pixies running around your workplace?

[Lord Niron]

I would think I was high again.

What would you do if the internet was never created?

[Woggie_666]

i would think there would be 30 million less 40 year old virgins in the world

what would you do if there was no more beer in the world

[defiler15]

it wouldnt matter because i am underaged.

what would you do if you gave me a dollar

[Thatfatguy]

laugh because it's worth less than the pound :p

What would yo do if faced with a bomb

[Arateus]

Throw a blanket over it and run away

What would you do if you saw Techno Viking in a parade?

[Woggie_666]

Teach them how to break dance and tell them i invented it

what would you do if you found you could turn invisible

[Grand Admiral Thrawn]

Girl's locker room

What would you do if you the head honcho at GW?

[Rahveel]

Release DE.

what would you do if aliens landed on earth, and revealed themselves as our creators?

[Lord Niron]

Call BS on them

What would you do if GW tested there codex's before they were released for game play balance rather then after?

[Rahveel]

bitch less

what would you do if the Zombie of adolf hitler rose from hell leading an army of the dead, and took over the middle east.

[Lord Niron]

Nothing. I'd rather have that.

What would you do if you had three wishes?

[edmundblack]

Sell them on ebay.

What would you do if the Internet was all pay per minute?

[Gkjester]

(briefly remembers when it used to be) :eek: *cries*

What would you do if cats wore pajamas?

[edmundblack]

Make nightshirts for dogs.

What would you do if the air was green?

[Grand Admiral Thrawn]

We couldn't differentiate Pox from everyone else!

What would you do if an asteroid was on a collision course with Earth?

[defiler15]

organize a team of arnold, chuck norris, and bruce willis. and send them into spehss!!!

what would you do if you found a squig

[edmundblack]

Go squig racing.

What would happen if all the money in world vanished?

[Phail]

The credit crunch would be over :)

what would happen if napoleon and hitler were allied in the same time period?

[edmundblack]

There'd be an abundance of angry short people.

What would happen if you had muffins?

[Lord Niron]

I would be eating muffins.

What would you do if a WoW killer came out?

[edmundblack]

Rejoice.

What would you do if the next question was of mind melting awesomeness?

[Lord Niron]

My mind would be melted.

What would you do if Tabula Rasa hadn't failed miserably.

[The Tommunist]

brought the game.

what would you have done if i hadnt joined the forum

[ajrk32]

Looked at NSFW cleav thread.

What would you do it there was a dog that could fly?

[Thatfatguy]

tie it down

what would yo do if you saw god?

[Enigmacookie]

Ask him out for dinner?

What would you do if you saw God and me eating dinner at a fancy restaurant?

[The Tommunist]

get the gun

what would you do if i got the gun

[Thatfatguy]

take it off you

what would you do if I took it off you?

[The Tommunist]

kick you in the balls

what would you do if i ruled the world

[Thatfatguy]

kill you

what would yo do if a wood chuck chucked a potato at your cousins cousins brother?

[jthrevenge]

Laugh. Never liked that douche...
What would you do, if you found out I live under your mom's bed?

[ajrk32]

kill you.
what would you do if you found out that i had a plan to launch warheads at all the countries south of the equator?

[jthrevenge]

Kill you.
What would you do, if I threatened to jump off a building.

[DrakonTheNightLord]

Kill you.

What would you do if Sicily is rename into DUCK for no reason?

[Durandal]

Not care.

What would you do if you discovered you are no more then a DOOMbot, (of the Dr. DOOM varitity)?

[ajrk32]

Doom the rest of the world to me DOOMbots

What would You do if there was a hot pastrami sandwich behind you?

[Mali32]

Run screaming like a little girl into a custard pot.


What would you do if i didnt fin....

[Thatfatguy]

ish this sentence?

What would you do If I finished your sentence?

[edmundblack]

Kill you.

What would you do if I stuffed your underpants with baked beans?

[Thatfatguy]

take of my underpants and nom

what would yo do if darth vader was next to you?

[Carbonbass]

Pretend to be force choked and get him arrested.

What would you do if attacked by a team of mutant duck assassins?

[Thatfatguy]

send in the mutant ninja turtles

What would you do if you shat a brick?

[Phail]

Shit more and build me a house

What would you do if the Emperor was real?

[edmundblack]

Eat a rabbit.

What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?

[Thatfatguy]

no, i'd stand up, and walk in on you

what would yo do if I put underwear on my head, and pencils up me nose

[Phail]

laugh

what would you do if i put stinky shitstained underwear on YOUR head and shoved sharpened blades up YOUR nose

[edmundblack]

Pay you. 8-[

What would you do if I suddenly found DCB again? Where's he gone anyway? :?

[Ron]

I'd stuff him and hide him in my cabinet.

What would you do if CSM suddenly replaced SM as GW's poster-boys?

[edmundblack]

Laugh as all the noob 9 year olds go and buy them instead. :P

What would you do if the insufficient quantity of truffles were significant in a free market?

[Durandal]

Look up the definition of a truffle in an economic sense.

What would you do if you became Superboy?

[edmundblack]

Fly to your house and teabag you. :P

What's the difference between space and dark matter?

[Durandal]

In space, no one can hear you scream.

What would you do if you were transformed into an incridbly attractive verion of the opposite sex?

[Enigmacookie]

Surprise Kaede and see how she'd react.

What would you do if you were unable to edit / spell-check your posts?

[Le Shirrif]

fial vrey budleh ut spillan

What would you do if you had that infernal autocomplete sentences on your posts?

[edmundblack]

Turn it off and spank your monkey.

What would you do EC turned up at your door? :P

[Durandal]

Surf 40kforums together, and maybe paint some minis.

What would you do with the Dude?

[edmundblack]

Dude, what wouldn't you do? :eek:

What would you do if you had to paint the sky pink?

[Durandal]

easy, rose colored sunglasses for all.

What would you do if you could punish the guy who came up with Canis (Wolf) wolfborn, wolflord of the wolfkin, bearing the saga of the wolf-something, with his wolf tooth necklace and wolf tail talisman, and weilding his wolf claws upon his wolf infront of his company of space wolf wolf riders?

[Ron]

Beat him with the Canis model until he sculpted one that did not have a He-man head and or a wolf with a head that looked like a cat.

What would you do if the Red Terror ate you?

[Enigmacookie]

I'd throw my pokeball at him. Everyone knows it's easier to catch stuff from the inside.
Like bird flu* :)

What do you plan to do to prevent me from editing the shit out of your reply to this question?


*If you're trying to find some kind of sense in this statement, don't.

[defiler15]

I don't even know. (That's original....)

What would you do if I met you?

http://www.seaworld.org/fun-zone/downloadables/downloadables/gorilla-fun-1024.jpg

[Ron]

@EC: I'd beat you to your editing color. Haha :)
<<Clever!>>

On topic: Feed you a banana.

What would you do if your car was a transformer?

[defiler15]

Go meet Megan Fox :wink:

What would you do if EnigmaCookie wasnt a Jerk sometimes?

>_>

[Durandal]

I'd assume he was a Pull.

What would you do with a kitty?

[defiler15]

Eat it,...... Oh Kitten um pet it!

What would you do if you saw a real Space Marine?

[incubus]

I would probably soil myself from pure fear, and then bow down before his might.

What would you do if an Inquisitor from the Ordo Hereticus came knocking on your door, waving a Carta Extremis with your name on it in front of you?

[Ron]

Shoot him.

What would you do if you were integrated into a Dreadnought?

[Durandal]

Wish I was put in a Wraithlord

You may take a relic blade or singing spear, which is it?

[Ron]

Singing Spear.

What would you do if you were being chased by a Bloodthirster?

[incubus]

Hand him a pint of blood.

What would you do if you GF turned out to be your sister?

[Ron]

Find a new GF.

What would you do if your car brakes failed while going 120 mph on the highway?

[Mali32]

Dance.


What would you do if every post you made on the forums became spanish?

[Ron]

Actually learn Spanish.

What would you do if you had to pay Andy 5 cents for every post?

[edmundblack]

I would have married him by now.

What would you if you couldn't defecate for a month?

[Thatfatguy]

get a plunger

what would you do if i got the plunger?

[edmundblack]

I'd take it off you and make you wait.

What?

[Thatfatguy]

huh?

huh?

[edmundblack]

Yeah.

What would you do if the next question made you remove all your clothes?

[Thatfatguy]

I'm already naked.

what would you do If I jumped in front of you naked?

[edmundblack]

Use a knife.

What would you do if this question never got answered?

[Thatfatguy]

answer it

what would you do if the immovable object met the unstoppable force?

[edmundblack]

Use it in a line for a film.

What is the unit of energy that's also measured in joules per second?

[Thatfatguy]

potato's

what would you do if I threw a potato at you?

[edmundblack]

Make chips. Incidentally, the answer was Watt. Geddit? :P

What would YOU do if - Mozric came around your house acting all sexy?

[Thatfatguy]

sex him up

what would you do if i sexed him up?

[edmundblack]

Film it of course.

What would you do if I then sold it and made lots of hard cash from it?

[Thatfatguy]

take my share

what would you do if I took my share?

[edmundblack]

Share.

What would you do if you grew to a hundred feet tall, wide and thick?

[Thatfatguy]

eat you

what would you do if I ate you?

[Mali32]

Give you indigestion.

What would you do is i hadnt asked this question?

[Thatfatguy]

chicken

what would you do if duck?

[Zawicki]

I'd dodge the projectile

What would you do if 2+2 = Fish?

[Thatfatguy]

fish

what would you do if 42?

[Durandal]

create a biological planetoid supercomputer to compute the correct question.

What would you do if you had Sean Conry's voice?

[Zawicki]

I'd kill myself because I am unworthy

What would you do if we found the meaning of life, and then the universe exploded because we are not allowed to find the meaning of life?

[Architech]

Clearly nothing, as I'd be cosmic dust


What would you do if presented the option of world peace in exchange for killing your best friend...by drowning him in jello?

[defiler15]

i would tearfuly eat the jello afterword.

what would you do?

[sufferenceeturnal]

id start a war in defiance and eat the jello provided for the drowning

what would you do if a war started in your hometown?

[Ron]

Pack up and leave.

What would you do with a Olympic Pool of lime jello?

[Enigmacookie]

I'd use it to drown my friend, in exchange of world piece.

If you could choose a forum colour scheme, what colours would you go for?


(j/s - watt, nice one EB :P)

[Zawicki]

I would choose the color awesome

If the grapeist was about to visit you, what would you do?

[Thatfatguy]

grape him

what would you do if |I graped you?

[The Tommunist]

be graped

what would you do if i was graped

[Thatfatguy]

grape you more

what would you do if I graped you more?

[The Tommunist]

one word: shotgun to the balls


what would you do if i was a god

[incubus]

Renounce you.

What would you do if you were a god?

[Thatfatguy]

steal your godhood

what would you do?

[The Tommunist]

zombies

what would i do if i couldnt be beaten at a game you loved

[Mali32]

Beat you.


What woul you do if i fell in love?

[The Tommunist]

fall in love back :P

[sufferenceeturnal]

hmm what would you do if the internet crashed on all computers

[edmundblack]

Invent it.

What would you do if the sun went on holiday?

[incubus]

Sleep the whole time. :smt015

What would you do on your next holiday?

[Thatfatguy]

sleep the whole time :D

what would yo do if you slept the whole time?

[edmundblack]

I'd be asleep.

What would you if I woke you up by driving a bus through your room?

[Ron]

I'd wonder how the hell you got the bus on the 2nd floor of my house.

What would you do if your GF was a vampire(who didn't sparkle).

[edmundblack]

Be amazed at having a girlfriend I didn't know about.

What would you if I made your building shorter so I could drive a bus through your room to wake you up?

[Ron]

I'd wonder who you'd go through the trouble, then beat you to death.

What would you do if the keys to all the nukes in the world were given to you for safe keeping?

[edmundblack]

Melt them all down and remake them as jewellery.

What you do if I arrived at your house with beer, crisps and three full army cases? :D

[Ron]

Break out my Chaos Daemons and have an epic game of drinking 40k.

What would you do if you were stuck in a bullfight?

[edmundblack]

Make friends with the bull.

What would you do if the moon fell to Earth?

[Baragash]

Order an epic load of crackers to eat it off.

What would you do if you woke up as a siamese twin with Mozric attached to you?

[QuestionableStrategy]

Start making out.

What would you do if your wife was murdered by a one-armed man and the frame was put on you and you were hunted by a federal marshal who looks suspiciously like Tommy Lee Jones?

[incubus]

I'd say: "It wasn't me, it was the one-armed man!" :D

What would you do if you looked like Tommy Lee Jones?

[QuestionableStrategy]

Rock out with all the fly honeys, like the badass I would truly be.

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

[Thatfatguy]

nothing

what would you do for a gold bar?

[edmundblack]

You.

What would you do if everyone here slept in your bed at the same time?

[QuestionableStrategy]

Get all hot and bothered.

Who would you rather fight: the ShamWOW guy or Bono?

[edmundblack]

One is an annoying fucktard, the other sells chamois. Gotta be bono.

What would you do if I painted you with 'ard coat?

[QuestionableStrategy]

probably get all stiff.

Does this look infected to you?

[Thatfatguy]

no

does this?

[Enigmacookie]

Eww, oh god yes. Ick, get that away!

Sunburst Yellow or Midnight Blue?

[Thatfatguy]

blazing orange

what would you do if?

[QuestionableStrategy]

7. Thats' What I would do.

What would you do if you were given super powers?

[Thatfatguy]

use them for good!

What would you do if I stole your kidneys?

[ajrk32]

Die a slow and painful death

WWYDI Xenos scum destroyed our gold and platinum and silver deposits?

[Thatfatguy]

steal theirs

what would you do if the cow jumped over the moon?

[Zawicki]

I'd crap your pants

What would you do if you randomly started pissing yourself?

[ajrk32]

YELL FIRE! HELP OVER THERE! and get every one to look away.

WWYDI A POKEMON decided to be you're friend.

[Zawicki]

I'd choose pikachu

WWYDI the atmosphere suddenly had 30% oxygen?

[Ron]

Wear an oxygen tank.

What would you do if you won a $200 gift card to your favorite store?

[defiler15]

i did :D

wwydi if you saw a daemon

[sufferenceeturnal]

grape it

[Ron]

..................

What would you do if you never needed to sleep again?

[rehdjac]

Fuck. A lot. More.

... you HAD to choose a single person with a sex contrary to your preference to screw.

[Phail]

Choose one with a small penis so it hurts less.

What would you do if a huge spider landed on your head right now?

[Dark Lord Foamy]

Throw it at the neighbours kid and hope it eats her.

What would you do if you realised you just sat on a rusty nail?

[rehdjac]

Drambuie and scotch? Dab up the mess and drink whatever was left.

... you HAD to fuck Rosie O' Donnell?

[QuestionableStrategy]

I'd finish the deed: then go home and curl up in the fetal position in the shower and cry while trying to clean off the horror.

WWYDI you were stuck between a rock and a hard place?

[defiler15]

do as homer simpson.

WWYDI videos games never existed!?

[QuestionableStrategy]

Probably be a lot more literate. And in better shape.

What would you do if Warhammer never existed?

[Thatfatguy]

cry

WWYDI I cried?

[QuestionableStrategy]

laugh

what would you do if I laughed?

[incubus]

Think you were weird

What would you do with the drunken sailor?

[ajrk32]

Throw him over to the spees orks!

WWYDI i atea bowl of you're favorite soup while sitting in front of you.

[defiler15]

make you into a soup, and EAT YOU!!!!!

wwydi i was your daddy?

[ajrk32]

Run Away!!!!

wwydi a girl stripped nekked infront of you and began to dance.

[Dark Lord Foamy]

Tell her to piss off I'm busy plotting world domination and have succubi for that anyway.

wwydi you saw nuke was about to land right next to you in 10 seconds time?

[QuestionableStrategy]

I AM a drunken sailor.

What would YOU do with a drunken sailor?

[ajrk32]

laught at him and than run away.
WWYDI you had to choose between: 100$ and "the best hour ever!" (tm)

[QuestionableStrategy]

Probably take the cash. I can make up for in quantity what I'd lose in quality.

Where would you go if you could time-travel?

[Dark Lord Foamy]

Back to when Mitsuhide Akechi attempted to kill Nobunaga Oda and shoot Mitsuhide in the head.

What would you do if a very large hedgehog bit you on your big toe and would not let go.

[QuestionableStrategy]

Accept my new, spikey big toe.

Who is Kaiser Soze?

[Phail]

..................

What would you do if Malcadon became prime minister of great britain?

[Mali32]

\o/



What would you do if i super-duper-awesome-mega-uber-amazing-spectacular-endoftheworld-over9000-epic-great-fantastic-bestever-loopdeloop-barrelroll-backflip-spin-corkscrew danced?

[The Tommunist]

kick to the balls

what would....ugh cant finish this sentence

[ajrk32]

Not respond

WWYDI: there was a shit covered squirrel running around you're office? (kudos to reference)

[QuestionableStrategy]

Check who unlocked its cage.

What would you do if a shit-covered Cthuhlhu was running around your office?

[incubus]

I would inquire as to what a Cthuhlhu is.

WWYDI you told me what it was?

[Durandal]

Watch you be driven mad.

What would you do with Gork and Mork?

[QuestionableStrategy]

Defeat them and become the soul deity of hte Orkish people. WAAAGGGGHHHH!!

WWYDI I went WWWAAAGGGGHHHH!!!

[Durandal]

Cleanse the galaxy of you, greenskin filth.


WWYDI with *this* thumb?

[defiler15]

i will keel you with it!

wwydi i killed you with a pinky

[ajrk32]

decompose!

WWYDI It turned out that The iraq war was a conspiracy?

[Phail]

Change the subject away from P&R :P

what would you do if santa and satan went on Life Swap?

[sufferenceeturnal]

worship the new santa
WWYDI you woke up with santa panting over your bed

[ajrk32]

grab my Primer thats next to my bed and spry him in the eyes.

WWYDI 40k is a hoax?

[incubus]

Cry my guts out for spending all my money on it! :smt010

WWYDI if your local supermarket ran out of milk?

[ajrk32]

Buy A cow.
WWYDI twelve onions decided to attack the rest of the onion population?

[sufferenceeturnal]

call cezar chaves because there is definatly something non union going on here

WWYDI I killed your cow and ate it?

[incubus]

Have a cow :P

WWYDI you met a Kung-fu cow?

[sufferenceeturnal]

surve kung pao beef

WWYDI you had a cows worth of kung pao beef?

[Phail]

eat them

what would you do if kung pao beef tasted so good, the cows wanted it back?

[QuestionableStrategy]

Take up arms against a sea of cattle and by opposing, end them.

WWYDI giant flys came down from space and started pulling the arms off humans?

[incubus]

Think that karma DOES exist!

WWYDI I got drunk tonight?

[QuestionableStrategy]

Join you.

WWYDI if I didn't ask anything?

[rehdjac]

Cheer, because a forum game just ended?

[sufferenceeturnal]

id cry because it ended at page 10

WWYDI I cried in my kung pao beef over the subject of this game ending?

[Phail]

laugh at you

what would you do if i was, in fact, kelly brook?

[Thatfatguy]

kill you

wwydi I didn't kill you?

[Phail]

i would be alive....

what would you do if a badger attacked you right now?

[QuestionableStrategy]

I'd wonder who unlocked the cage.

Was it you who unlocked it?

[Phail]

no

what would you do if Andy changed his name back to Darkness :o

[QuestionableStrategy]

Probably go about my daily life unaffected?

WWYDI your internet connection died?

[Phail]

not reply in this thread

what would you do if your computer exploded?

[incubus]

Try and get my insurance company to cover for a new one :)

WWYDI if your national football team qualified for the World Cup?

[ajrk32]

Laugh
WWYDI your homecoming dance sucked so hard that it choked?

[Phail]

cry

what would you do if the Spanish Inquisition turned up unexpectedly on your doorstep?

[ajrk32]

Well. First I'd change this away from Religion


WWYDI a dog ate your friend?

[incubus]

Kill the dog and mourn the loss of my friend.

WWYDI a succubus came and visited you one night?

[vikinboere]

Ask her what took her so long

WWYDI if you won the lottery?

[Enigmacookie]

I'd put the money in the bank.

What would you do if I won the lottery?

[vikinboere]

Wait in front of the bank with a big stick

What would you do if somebody killed your hamster?

[QuestionableStrategy]

Curse Richard Gere for claiming another one.

What would you do if someone stole your absurdly large shoulder pads?

[incubus]

Leave the era of the 80's and step into the new millenium.

WWYDI it was snowing right now?

[ajrk32]

Laugh becasue it is!
WWYDI this thread exploded your head?

[Phail]

Ragequit

what would you do if a moth ACTUALLY flew out of your wallet?

[sufferenceeturnal]

cry then laugh at cartoon reaction to my poorness
WWYDI all you knew to be true was turned into falsehood

[Phail]

laugh in the name of Chaos

what would you do if right now a meteor was heading for earth

[vikinboere]

Hire bruce willis

What would you do if somebody offerd you thousand dollar but you have to kill your cat

[QuestionableStrategy]

Done.

WWYDI if it was your dog?

[Phail]

i wouldnt do it.

what would you do if it was someone elses dog?

[sufferenceeturnal]

in a heartbeat

WWYDI life was literally like a box of chocolates

[Phail]

eat my life

what would you do if chocolates rose up and rebelled against us in a revolution

[The Tommunist]

eat...GOD DAMM EAT

who is you be me am i?

[incubus]

Say: "Huh?"

WWYDI you actually had any clue as to what tom is on about?

[Phail]

be a motherfucking genius

what would you do if your ex wanted you back?

[ajrk32]

Say ok, than walk away

WWYDI there were more than seven tacos?

[Phail]

eat them all

what would you do if catwoman was real?

[QuestionableStrategy]

Probably get convicted for sensual assault.

WWDI Batman were real?

[Phail]

i wouldn't do anything naughty :P

what would you do if everyone acted like the cast of hollyoaks?

[QuestionableStrategy]

I would probably know what holy oaks is then.

WWYDI I 'aksed' you a question instead of asking one?

[ajrk32]

say waht?

WWYDI WWYDI WWYDI WWYDI i asked WWYDI over and over and over and WWYDI? eh?

[Ron]

I'd slap you.

WWYDI you saw someone drop his wallet?

[ajrk32]

Tell him and than ask for a reward.

WWYDI five aliens asked for your DNA?

[Ron]

Ask for some of theirs' in exchange.

[ajrk32]

Failed

WWYDI i didnt ask WWYDI?

[Ron]

I'd say you failed.

WWYDI if you could fly?

[China]

Get a job

WWYDI Jesus had an M60?

[QuestionableStrategy]

Probably might actually be religious.

WWYDI if Jesus was your copilot?

[sufferenceeturnal]

Hope Judas is not in the enemy plane

WWYDI Judas was infact in the enemy plane

[ajrk32]

be a religion thatz not christan

WWYDi i moved away from P&R

[China]

Try to resurrect Billy Mays

WWYDI I said it?

[ajrk32]

Lose the game.

WWYDI if i reminded you about the game. (ps. you lost)

[Andon]

Think the game is stupid and ridiculous.

What would you do if you found out that your body had made it so you could only eat stones of various forms, and yes, your teeth, jaws, etc cna handle chewing rocks.

[Phail]

eat stones?

what would you do if you could only eat stones of various forms but your teeth and jaw etc COULDN'T handle eating rocks? :P

[edmundblack]

Use your teeth instead.

What would you if the next question asked caused your brain to melt?

[Phail]

my brain has just melted trying to make sense of your answer :?

what would you do if i stopped failing?

[edmundblack]

Nothing, as the universe would implode. Stick to what you're good at - phailing. :P

What would you do if I rocked up with my army case right now? :D

[Phail]

kick your ass with my army cases ;)

what would you do if i ever got round to finishing painting one of my armies?

[edmundblack]

Buy a set of ice skates for Satan. :P

What would you do if chocolate filled your house?

[Phail]

eat my way out

what would you do if i ate you?

[edmundblack]

Put on twenty stone and get diarrhoea. :twisted:

What would do if the "what would do if thread" were to be taken as the literal gospel by a hitherto unknown civilisation?

[The Tommunist]

become their leader and lead them in a great space jihad against eb

what would you do if i ruled the universe