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  1. #21
    Rolling an 18 DrakonTheNightLord's Avatar
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    I was thinking of what to latch on to from LneWlf's starting story and decided on the concept of cycles of war and peace, so that can be a central theme.

    It's not too late for you to join in, you know :p


    Bear Island knows no Kim but the Kim in the North, whose name is Jong Un.
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  2. #22
    LneWlf's Avatar
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    @DrakonTheNightLord ;

    I'm probably going to rewrite this tomorrow, depending how I feel upon re-reading once I wake up, so if you haven't started anything yet, hold off.

    @Psychedelic Lictor ;

    No worries about the back seat driving. Input is always good. And do feel free to join in too!

    Demons run when a good man goes to war...

    Dileas Gu Brath, Nuli Secundus

    Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame.
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  3. #23
    Rolling an 18 DrakonTheNightLord's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LneWlf View Post
    hold off.
    Received.

    Bear Island knows no Kim but the Kim in the North, whose name is Jong Un.
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  4. #24
    LneWlf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DrakonTheNightLord View Post
    If a bunch of pale folk from a damp island could make Chav Greenskins and Space Elves into a major science-fiction franchise, I don't see how anything we make can't be anything we want it to be
    I've been trying to figure this reference out all night and morning...but nothing is coming to me.

    Also on Lictors note; I do think we should really concrete in a theme. Does war and peace work for everyone? A tale of the heroes and villains who right the world and turn it into chaos again? Or do we have something else in mind?


    @theonelogician

    Demons run when a good man goes to war...

    Dileas Gu Brath, Nuli Secundus

    Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame.
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  5. #25
    theonelogician's Avatar
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    A good theme could focus on free will- point out that every sentient being will naturally destabilize their native zone, as they are creatures of reason and emotion, rather than instinct. A god cannot understand this, for they are but the manifestations of their respective domains.

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  6. #26
    LneWlf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by theonelogician View Post
    A good theme could focus on free will- point out that every sentient being will naturally destabilize their native zone, as they are creatures of reason and emotion, rather than instinct. A god cannot understand this, for they are but the manifestations of their respective domains.
    Which would tie in nicely with the cycle of war and peace. Drakon, thoughts on This?

    Demons run when a good man goes to war...

    Dileas Gu Brath, Nuli Secundus

    Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame.
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  7. #27
    Rolling an 18 DrakonTheNightLord's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LneWlf View Post
    reference
    "Pale" referring to you western folk
    "Damp island" is Britain
    "Chav Orks" is a jab at how the Orks speak in 40k
    "Space Elves" is a jab at how they stole the Tolkiennic term Eldar

    I'm talking about Games Workshop, fam.


    ************

    I agree with the central theme. Basically mortals are irrational, insane creatures that confounds the genius of divinity, because divinities see the bigger picture, and hence are creatures of total logic.

    So yeah, a grand story on "why we can't have nice things", basically. I suppose if we want the story to have an arc, we should attempt to resolve the mortals tendency for destruction.


    Bear Island knows no Kim but the Kim in the North, whose name is Jong Un.
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  8. #28
    LneWlf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DrakonTheNightLord View Post
    "Pale" referring to you western folk
    "Damp island" is Britain
    "Chav Orks" is a jab at how the Orks speak in 40k
    "Space Elves" is a jab at how they stole the Tolkiennic term Eldar

    I'm talking about Games Workshop, fam.


    ************

    I agree with the central theme. Basically mortals are irrational, insane creatures that confounds the genius of divinity, because divinities see the bigger picture, and hence are creatures of total logic.

    So yeah, a grand story on "why we can't have nice things", basically. I suppose if we want the story to have an arc, we should attempt to resolve the mortal tendency for destruction.
    >.> ya know I originally thought 40k, then thought that was too obvious. And I ain't no Brit!
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    So basically for the story so far we have;

    -War and peace
    -Human disregard for the Big
    -Basically heading towards world destruction and each character is working to stop it (influencing the future.

    Anything more to add?

    Fyi I'm going to work on the prologue tonight, edit and finish it up.



    Last edited by LneWlf; 24th November 2017 at 01:04.
    Demons run when a good man goes to war...

    Dileas Gu Brath, Nuli Secundus

    Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame.
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  9. #29
    Rolling an 18 DrakonTheNightLord's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LneWlf View Post
    add
    Just want to tell you guys the general tone of the 'middle chapter' and how it fits into the overall arc of things.

    My story starts in 1700s or thereabouts, humans have basically given up on fantastic wonder and are now fully materialistic, using religion only as a tool for war. I figured since I'm writing the middle part, it would be the darkest parts as well, and most of the stories center around intrigue and realpolitik. Caena and other Gods will not be present but mentioned for political purposes as symbols for humans to rally around in wartime. The other races will be all but absent in this period - I'll leave it to other writers to decide if they're extinct or are in hiding.

    The story will take a narrow view, with 'heroes' trying to save the world more or less just being heroes trying to save their country, which, in their eyes, is the world. The story isn't overtly cynical, but it's supposed to clash with the early and later writings as an age devoid of wonder and narrow-mindedness, as characters who are trying to overcome their conflicts are essentially just continually perpetuating conflict and strife.

    There will be sporadic patches of hope, several "will he be a good king or won't he" moments to keep things interesting and not endlessly dour.


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  10. #30
    LneWlf's Avatar
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    @theonelogician , @DrakonTheNightLord ;

    So i rewrote the prologue. Wasn't happy with the original, so here is how it stands as of now. It's only two pages, and I might expand it or I might now. Still not 100% happy, but it's a work in progress. Names all stayed the same but the creatures themselves changed (aside from the humans of course).


    Prologue

    Most worlds come into existence with a bang, a giant flash across the universe that is visible to all who care to see it. Those who know what to look for, can usually watch a world come into fruition. They are able to watch as Gods and Goddesses create new life, new beings. It is a show that many are fond of, and that many never forget during their lives.

    This was not so for Teibos. The world was brought into existence by the Caena, the Goddess of Creation itself. It was by her hand, hidden away from all who might see and corrupt it, that Caena created an oasis, designed to be a place of peace.

    She crafted Teibos in an image of a balanced world, half of it covered in life giving waters, and half given to land for those non-aquatic lifeforms. The world was given three oceans, split and cut off from each other by the land masses that shared the area.

    Among the lands, Caena decided that a collage of different environments would serve best. Mountains rose up high above plains, met by large stretches of forests. Deserts ended where grasslands began, which surrounded many a lake. Rivers cut through each of these areas, ensuring the much needed flow of water to the bigger bodies was met. Areas that met began taking on new forms, where grasslands met rivers and lakes, marches and bogs emerged. Lakes within mountains turned glacial, whereas rivers along deserts slowly shrunk as the heat affected them. Caena was impressed by the natural response that the world had to her own creations, reveling in the self-sustaining and self-controlling properties Teibos displayed. To Caena it seemed peaceful, and reminded her of her own heart.

    For a time Teibos was exactly that. The world was populated with animals, who's natural order balanced itself. Fauna provided for prey, prey provided predator, the world balanced itself, and Caena watched her creation in pride. But as time grew on, something did not feel complete for Caena. Something about Teibos was missing.

    Caena contemplated for a long time on her decision. She had seen many other worlds become corrupted by what she now considered doing, but she felt that perhaps she could control it. For was she not the Goddess of All?

    Knowing she couldn't turn to others for help in this dilemma, she battled with herself even as she watched her own world prosper and others fall to chaos and ruin. It was while watching these worlds, that she noticed small specks that stood out against others. Small, tiny glimmers of hope and peace. It was these glimmers that finished her decision for her. And so, Caena brought sentient life to Teibos.

    She created humanity, as seen in so many other worlds. They were humanoid, like herself, and came in all sizes and colours, from pale to dark. She gave them a mixture of features, ranging from rose coloured hair, to violet coloured eyes. She instilled upon them a knowledge of peace and care, hoping they would protect her world from harm.

    Alongside them she created two other species, bearing imagines similar to Gods she had long ago seen, but who had disappeared from her existence. The first she named the Drastyr, large winged creatures with bodies similar to tigers on other worlds. The spoke a common tongue, which all could understand, if not speak themselves. Caena gave these beings a duty of protecting the humans from non-worldly entities, those supernatural beings who commonly showed up where unwanted. She provided them with the ability to shift between the mortal plane and the etheral, walking among the world of living and spirits.

    Her last creation was the Mesorem, known in her tongue as Reapers. These she shifted into shadows, capable of taking any form they chose, with the ability to communicate telepathically with others. By reading the minds of those they encountered, they could choose a form that was comforting to the viewer. It was to these beings that she gave the solemn duty of collecting passing souls, and escorting them on the final journey to the afterlife.

    As she watched them enter the world for the first time she felt pride in her newest creations. They were all a piece of her, with an intelligence to rival the beings of many other worlds. Unable to contain her excitement, Caena went to her creations. She joined them on their plane, walking among them in the form of a pale human, with long flowing blonde hair and emerald eyes. Around her glowed an aura of gold and silver, and any who looked upon her knew she was more than just a simple being among them. She spent many days among them, teaching them the basic skills they needed to survive the sometimes harsh environments of the world.

    She instilled upon the humans the need to keep the natural balance that existed on Teibos in order, and that the world would live or die by their hand. Although many seemed confused by this idea, she knew that eventually they would come to understand her words. She spent day and night speaking with the group of people.

    She had created only fifty of the humans, knowing that overpopulation had left many a world worse off than if plague had hit it. Caena was aware that their population would eventually grow; which was why she had ensured that the people would live short lives, dying off before they could populate to a size that would be precarious for the environment. She had also ensured that the reproductive need of the beings were low, and would only surface when it was clear their time was heading towards the end.

    She made sure to spend time with the dozens of Drastyr and Mesorem as well, teaching them to use the powers they had been given. She spoke her commandments to them, teaching them their roles in the world, and what was expected of them. She ensured that they understood that they were equal with the other beings who shared Teibos and called it home.

    Caena was overjoyed with her creation. As she watched among them, they worked to preserve the land around her, as she had hoped they would. The beings hunted the animals they needed for survival, and gave prayers to her for what was provided. She felt a warmness in her very being that had been missing before, and realised that this was the love others had always talked about. She knew in her very being that so long as she watched over them, nothing ill would come to Teibos.

    But they joy could not last forever. Eventually she felt a pulling on her very soul, and she sighed knowing that another was calling for her. So she left Teibos, with one last look upon it, satisfied with her creation, and sure that it would remain safe while she was away.


    Last edited by LneWlf; 1st December 2017 at 23:54.
    Demons run when a good man goes to war...

    Dileas Gu Brath, Nuli Secundus

    Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame.
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  11. #31
    Rolling an 18 DrakonTheNightLord's Avatar
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    II
    The Book of Gold

    ONE

    I stand alone in the stage of history. Behold, my Golden Empire. Built on the blood of the mighty, carved out by my honored grandfather the first Andreas upon the flesh of the dying Arcadian Empire. My realm straddles the world, and all its wealth passes through my lands. The Arcadians, clutching to their southern coasts, continue to eke out their meaningless lives... at my pleasure.

    The Arcadians were not of this continent. They came from the west, screaming and conquering with their massive war-elephants. Most fought, all fell. The remainder submitted for a hundred years, taking our customs and faith as their own. Until of course, the Schism. General Andreas Akkerman, my grandfather, claimed to have been visited by a vision of the Mother-Goddess, Caena. What followed was 15 years of bloody war as my grandfather fought for the right to claim the title High Priest of Caena from the Arcadian Emperors. He won, and he proclaimed himself Golden Emperor, beloved of Caena. The scepter passed from father to son, and it is now I, Andreas the Second, who commands a rising empire as the Arcadians fell further into obscurity.

    My late father defeated the Arcadian remnants in several wars, but had relented as he neared the grave. Fostering cordial relations with 'emperor' Konrad of Arcadia. Out of dynastic respect to my father, I have continued the charade of cordiality. The Arcadians were eager for respite as their empire continued to crumble into our hands. I had only decimated 1 major Arcadian city in the whole decade. Our hegemony was secure, and will be complete soon.

    It was an old Arcadian custom for its vassals to send their firstborn to the Imperial court, and now Konrad sends his son to my Golden Court, to be taught and raised in the fashion of the victor, in the rising prestige of the Golden Empire. I will receive this princeling. Let Konrad hold on to his Imperial crown for a little more. When the old fool dies what remains of Arcadia will fall in line and accept my rule.

    And when Arcadia finally falls, I will take my armies to the rest of this continent, and the next, and the next... the Book of Gold my grandfather left behind was clear - Caena wills it.

    Bear Island knows no Kim but the Kim in the North, whose name is Jong Un.
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  12. #32
    theonelogician's Avatar
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    BOOK III
    THE BOOK OF IRON


    From Remarks given at the commissioning of UTC Italistar
    President-General No'guan Loksan

    To this day, even the most studious historian would not dream of nailing down the exact moment we realized we weren't alone. That other sentient species existed. That our Mother had made others. That other gods had made their own.

    We really shouldn't have been surprised. Our own world holds three species, two of which seemed at any time to hate the other one. But we remained at peace.

    We took our first steps on our moon, our first colony on another planet in our system. We stood together during dark moments in our history, but we remained true. And now, we will remain true again, with the launch of the UTC Italistar. Our first purpose-built warship, the Italistar will patrol our colonies, and be the first of our many safeguards.

    Let the Mother protect us as we explore the stars!

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Roland Caurven clicked off the screenvid with a sound of disgust. The President-General was little more than a puppet to be pulled to and fro by her backers, but that fool insisted on grandiose promises. Not in office for two years, and the Drastyr had put on weight and managed to insult multiple heads of state. Far from her warrior-monk kin of millennia past, Loksan possessed all the martial and diplomatic skill of a rock, and a particularly dumb one at that.

    Caurven raised a glass to the blank screen in acknowledgement of the impressive ability of his colleagues to rig that election, before draining the glass. The day was new, and he had a business to run.

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  13. #33
    Rolling an 18 DrakonTheNightLord's Avatar
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    Good starts

    Now that the first bits are done, I think we can break from order and just post new stuff whenever we can. Feel free to discuss etc. So far I'm very intrigued at @theonelogician 's stuff. It seems to link up well with the prologue. For my part, I hope the humans purge any aliens they find


    Bear Island knows no Kim but the Kim in the North, whose name is Jong Un.
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  14. #34
    theonelogician's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DrakonTheNightLord View Post
    purge any aliens they find
    Considering two OTHER species exist on this planet... I'm assuming you mean any OTHER aliens, right? Right?

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  15. #35
    Rolling an 18 DrakonTheNightLord's Avatar
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    You know damn well what I meant... Also, interesting take on the future. Typically the far future would be more secular but you've chosen for the future to be fully cognizant of the existence of divine beings and their creations...

    Bear Island knows no Kim but the Kim in the North, whose name is Jong Un.
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  16. #36
    Bacon Fondler Psychedelic Lictor's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DrakonTheNightLord View Post
    It's not too late for you to join in, you know :p
    I know, and I am sorely tempted, but my time is so screwy right now to feel like I can offer any kind of commitment. So, contenting myself with watching this unfold - really intriguing so far!

    Ham and eggs: a day's work for a chicken; a lifetime's commitment for a pig.
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  17. #37
    LneWlf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Psychedelic Lictor View Post
    I know, and I am sorely tempted, but my time is so screwy right now to feel like I can offer any kind of commitment. So, contenting myself with watching this unfold - really intriguing so far!
    Write when you can. It's not like we'll be waiting on you.

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  18. #38
    LneWlf's Avatar
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    So this is no where near completed, in fact it's just getting started. But figured you guys might be interested in what's developed so far.

    I'm also thinking a dropbox/cloud might be a good idea for simplicity (pain in the ass to post this much on here, and I've not even halfway done a chapter yet..).


    Chapter One: The Lost Star

    Vaylaren looked up at the sky, his face showing a hopefulness that his eyes did not reflect. In all truthfulness, Vaylaren had not been hopeful for a few years now, his enthusiasm from his induction long since having died out. It was clear to all but the most faithful that their Goddess had left them. Only the truly zealous still held on to the hope that she would return to guide them. Vaylaren did not stand among them, even though he held the rank of Cayleith, a high priest among his people. Vaylaren was sure that their deity had abandoned them, and that it was time to stop looking to the skies for answers and directions, and start looking to themselves, and those capable of leading them beyond their current dilemma.

    Vaylaren sighed after realising he had been lost and thought. To those around he may have appeared to be straining for some sign, looking as hard as he can or even accessing the Sorcerous Plane in search. He shook his head slightly, almost annoyed by the faithful. It was one thing to worship a deity who was there for you…but one who was absent? That seemed ridiculous to him. He looked around at those with him. He knew many were still faithful, burning sageweed and hastberries every night in calling. He knew some had given up the more extreme actions, but still prayed wildly, desperate for an answer. He also noticed that most of those here were much older, old enough to still remember the Goddess’ voice.

    Sixty years had passed since Caena had walked among them, travelling from one land to the next, teaching and learning from the very people she created. Another ten years after her physical disappearance, her voice disappeared, never to be heard again. Now it was only the adults who knew her personally. Vaylaren himself had been halfway through his Rights when Caena disappeared. He had completed his Rights by entering the Sorcerous Plane in search of their Goddess, returning with only his life and proof of defeating a minor Daemon.
    A year after his defeat of the Daemon in the Socerous Plane, Vaylaren was paired with his Drastyr. The being was different from the others, instead of sporting the typical orange fur with black stripes, his sported blue stripes, with a single stripe down its nose in an ice blue colour. Many thought that Vaylaren's companion was an evil omen, a sign that the world was ending, or that Caena had left them forever. Vaylaren himself thought that half of them were insane to read omens from a Drastyr, a species who had been given to humans as guardians from the Goddess herself. Every time someone said something in his earshot, or signed themselves in the six-pointed crescent moon. Regardless of their ideals, Vaylaren went nowhere without Zephyrn at his side.

    Life had taken a dull repetitiveness for Vaylaren. It began with waking to the rising sun, completing his morning tasks, and then his midday prayer and call to Caena. It ended with his sermon to those who would listen, sermons that had strayed from continuing the search for their Goddess, to how to continue in her image in life. He had slowly started to notice a decrease in those who attended his sermons, which were now populated with mostly those who’s ages would have allowed them to know Caena.

    Looking at his life now, Vaylaren had to admit it was dull and boring, and part of him missed the adventures from his time before he took his Rights. Things then had been full of terror, stress and fear, but he had always felt alive during those times. Sometimes he found himself daydreaming about it when he was working.

    It was the eighth day of the Summer Night Solstice, and celebrations in Furkesh had just begun. Vaylaren however, deigned to remove himself from the joyous partying taking place in the town, settling on a rocky outcropping a few hundred metres down the road. Zephyrn laid curled up at around him, using his body heat to keep the cold air away from Vaylaren. Vaylaren remained silent as he stared over the town, pondering the changes that had rocked Teibos. First, Caena had left the world, leaving a huge gap among those who she had created. Then, the world had begun falling apart as fights broke out; unable to call upon their deity for help in resolving the problems, wars had begun.
    In the place of Caena, empires had begun to spring up, with leaders claiming to know the way. Many were religious sects that believed they knew what Caena would want of the world, and claimed to have all the answers. Some however, were those who claimed that Caena had left them, and no longer deserved their praise. These were the ones who truly scared Vaylaren, as many younger people flocked to them without knowing Caena's true heart.

    "You ponder upon that which you cannot change." The voice was deep and rough, and seemed to come from the very air around him. But Vaylaren had long grown used to the chill it gave most people. He looked down upon Zephyrn, who's head was tucked against his front paws, almost catlike.

    "And you view a mind controlled by turmoil and uncertainty." He returned, partly in jest. He wasn't truly annoyed that Zephyrn had pried into his thoughts – it was a gift that did not go two ways unless the Drastyr chose it too. It made Vaylaren feel open and vulnerable at first, until he realised that Zephyrn would take those thoughts to the Afterlife before betraying his companion. The bond between Drastyr and Human was far greater than a common beast, and it was not to be considered trifle.

    Zephyrn merely growled deeply in response. The Drastyr had long become a brother to Vaylaren, and their relationship was complicated at best, misunderstood by others who shared the bond, and not understandable at all by those who didn't. Most viewed the Drastyr as simple guardains, protectors sent to keep those chosen as the Living Words of Caena safe. Which may have been their original intention, but over time the bonds had changed. Few dangers threatened those who were bonded, and those that did could be dealt with without the creatures. Many had come to be more similar to assistants in life, helping in ways specific to the pair in question. Some viewed them as pets to be contained and controlled. But with Vaylaren and Zephyrn, it had become more. They weren't simply a bonded pair, they were almost family.
    Vaylaren knew that many things about his relationship with Zephyrn made most people uncomfortable, but he found he honestly didn't care. It was a gift from the Goddess to be bonded in the first place, and clearly, he had been granted an even more generous gift – a friendly and partner that could understand his very soul. Looking down on Zephyrn, he couldn't understand how some people treated them as mere pets, as if they were a common cat.

    "Your mind wanders nearly as much as your fingers do..." The voice said again. "If only you had this much focus on your sermons, perhaps more would be interested." Vaylaren heard the humour beneath the words, but still it stung. It had been harshly obvious that attendance had been down, but that day had been the lowest Vaylaren had ever seen. For a town of nearly two hundred, where everyone knew everyone, a mere fifty had attended. Of those, Vaylaren knew none to be younger than seventy. It was despairing to the young priest, as he saw the changes happening before his own eyes.

    "So do something." Zephyrn said, this time looking up at him with his golden eyes. "Isn't that what you want? Adventure? Stories to tell? Travels to be had?"

    Vaylaren shook his head. "It isn't that easy...I have duties here. People rely on me for help and guidance." Even as he said it, he knew he didn't believe it. And if he didn't, there was no way the Drastyr would. "Besides, I'm not as young as I once was. I've aged since those times." Zephyrn snorted loudly at his excuse.

    "Oh yes, the wise old Vaylaren. Long lived he is. All eighty years behind him, may death take him soon." The laughter seemed to echo in the air among the dead of the night, loud enough to be heard over the sounds of celebration coming from the town. Vaylaren poked the Drastyr playfully, pretending to be upset, and stifling a laugh at his words.

    He was barely out of his youth years, and Vaylaren knew it. The only aging that had taken him was a minor pain in his back from his consistent gardening each day, a pain that had crept up over the past forty years as one would expect. Both of them knew that he was in his prime now, had been for a while. Sighing to himself, Vaylaren stood up, ready to head back into the joyous environment before them. Zephyrn moaned, as if annoyed at the thought.

    "You're welcome to stay here if you want." Vaylaren offered, knowing that the Drastyr would never take the offer. They walked back side by side, Vaylaren holding a hand on the Drastyr's side as he strutted down the hillside beside him.


    Demons run when a good man goes to war...

    Dileas Gu Brath, Nuli Secundus

    Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame.
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  19. #39
    Rolling an 18 DrakonTheNightLord's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LneWlf View Post
    dropbox/cloud
    Perhaps we can have a Google docs thing going for WIP that we can peek into and give input when needed, and you can post complete works here.

    As for the text, font needs to be bigger, nothing else to say beyond general curiosity as to where this is going.

    Also, feel free to write ahead of me, I'm putting together my own story at my own pace


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